To Build

                                    

Build In this sense of the word means : to establish, increase, or strengthen (often followed by up):

to build a business;to build up one's hopes. - dictionary.com

Today we are going to look at the verb to build. Including ways of creating habits, strengthening relationships, and furthering your career. Starting small and daily practice can enable you to achieve almost anything, the sky is the limit if you put in the work! So first let's look at our habits.

(1) Build Habits

Daily Practice

As the saying goes - practice makes perfect. If you practice something most every day you will see improvement in your performance, you will gain confidence and skills as you move forward. Day by day your practice will get better and better and you will eventually be able to master your craft. 

Improving on Yesterday

Every evening, reflect on your day and set an intention to be one percent better tomorrow. Little by little you will achieve perfection. 

Visualisation

Begin with a dream, a vision. Think big and use your imagination. Get some old magazines and create a vision board / collage of what you want to achieve. You can use a piece of construction board and some glue, too easy. When you've finished put it in a prominent place and just let it inspire you to go for it. 

Make Plans

Draw up plans. Basically where, when, what who & how. Create approximate deadlines and follow the plan everyday. 

Form a habit - use the 21/90 rule

The consensus is that it takes 21 days to make a habit and 90 days to permanently incorporate it into your life.   

Use a to-do list. 

You can use a paper list or one of the millions of to-do list apps on your phone or computer. The key here is capturing everything you need to do as it occurs to you and prioritising what you are going to do and when. 

Start work at 9 am

It doesn't have to be 9am, but it's as good a time as any, and likely that you will do better work of the morning. Otherwise try to set a time of day or night for when you work. It's good to 'Eat that frog" and do the hardest thing first off in the morning. Eat that Frog is a book about doing your most important task first thing in the morning, it's written by Brian Tracy. If you wake up earlier it's good time to fit in meditation and a healthy breakfast. Consider joining the 5 O'clock club. 

Have a regular sleep schedule

As above it's good to hit the grindstone at 9 am. You can't achieve anything much if you're asleep all day, unless your are a sworn night owl and can only work at night, if so then do that and try to make it regular. Make sure you get 8 hours (or more if you need it) of sleep, fatigue is not going to help you perform and it can be dangerous when driving, operation machinery etc. 

Set Priorities

Some tasks list apps such as google tasks let you toggle the entries in order that you need to do them, then it's just a matter of accomplishment. 

Use an Hour of Power

Set your day up into hourly intervals or multi-hour intervals and fit your work into them. Say to yourself 'it is my hour of power and I am going to achieve...(this)

Exercise

Exercise is good for your body and your brain. At the very least try to get in an hour of walking every day. Then  do more if you can. Plus you will need to do some yoga and / or some stretching as well. There are so many things you can do for exercise or sport. Whether it be swimming, running, walking, working out at the gym, playing soccer etc, etc. It's also good to fit in a few weights sessions per week because it's good for your bones and muscles. 

Commit  to something for 10 minutes

If you can't get started, try to commit to the task for 10 minutes. It's amazing how much you can achieve in that time, and easily adds up to an hour of practice during your week 

Make Affirmations, 

Try to watch your self-talk, say things to yourself such as: You can do this; you got this; don't give up; believe and you can achieve; keep going; do it now; hot off the iron; my hour of power; just do it!

Mission Statements

Outline what your purpose is, what you do and what you value. keep it written in your notebook or phone and read it often. If something doesn't tie in with your values then don't do it. If it does tie in with your values you will have more energy for the job. 

If you can - squeeze time out of your day. There are going to be moments of downtime in your day now and again. Sometimes it's hard to know what to do in those spaces. Some people need to incubate, so you can just relax and chill in those moments, or you could knit, draw or or practice you listening skills by putting some music on, too easy! You could even dance  for a bit and that will liven up your day!

(2) Build relationships

Be polite and respectful

Etiquette is such a big deal. Basically our parents taught us to be well mannered, and we learn more from socializing as we go. It cost so little to say please, thank you and you are welcome and yet these small utterances can make or break our interactions. I would even recommend reading a book on it. If you sometimes rant - stop it. Never argue with anyone, it only weakens your position

Active listening

Active listening is listening carefully, agreeing, asking questions, clarifying and coming to terms with what someone is saying, without interrupting or setting your own agenda. Listening is the most important communication skill you can have. Another skill would be reading body language. According to Albert Mehrabian, a researcher of body language, body language makes up for 55% of communication; Tone makes up for 38% and 7% is the actual words you choose to use. 

Plan things to do together, stop watching too much TV.

Do you have date night (anymore)? There is so much you can achieve without watching TV. Whilst some TV is informative and entertaining, the rest of it is just rubbish - a proverbial devil's playground. Try to limit the amount you spend watching it.   The news is interesting, but make sure you balance it out with some positive stuff. 

Practice Compassion and Empathy

Tied in with active listening is empathy. This is when you look at things from the other's point of view, put yourself in their shoes, comprehend, yay you got this! The person will feel heard and understood and they will even like your more. 

Do Good Deeds

Clean out the garage or something for your partner. Make someone their favourite meal, Do them a painting or write them a song. Volunteer to do something for someone.  

Give Thank-You Gifts

Everybody likes presents. Don't be miser and give generously. Definitely try to remember birthdays and anniversaries. If you can, go beyond facebook and send a gift and card instead. 

Help around the house

Just take 10 minutes to empty the dishwasher,  fold some washing, or give the benches a scrub down, these  little acts are pleasing, encouraging and contribute to household cleanliness. Teach your children to wash and put things away, the housework doesn't magically do itself. 

Give your children extra-curricular activities such as arts and sports.

People of higher socio-economic backgrounds have more successful kids. This is because they enrol them in extra-curricular activities like art and sports. These people are more educated; They give their kids more attention, and their kids thrive more. Even if you are not rich, try to help your child build their skills and grow as a person.

Teach Children Home Science. 

Make sure everyone chips in to the housework / chores. Teach your children to cook, clean and basic sewing and mechanical skills. 

Give up Control

Stop trying to control anyone. Control yourself. Consider this verse from the Tao Te Ching. 

Tao Te Ching – Verse 33

Knowing others is intelligence;

knowing yourself is true wisdom.

Mastering others is strength;

mastering yourself is true power.

(3) Build your Career

Education

A course of education in your chosen field will teach you skills you need for work and life. There's nothing wrong with having a piece of paper to prove you have a higher education qualification, but if you can't necessarily study formally you can easily find information an resources in libraries, on the web and in bookshops to learn new things. And if you already have a degree maybe you would like to do masters. Bottom line here being knowledge is power! A course of education can form the foundations you need in order to navigate through a hard cold world. 

Goals

Make goals for the week; the fortnight; the month; three months; six months; one year, and five years. Write your goal down. Make your goal something you really want. Make sure it ties into your mission. Make sure it is going to be worth the time and effort. Use the SMART rule where S means specific, M means measurable, A means achievable, R means realistic, and T means Timely. Make plans to work on your goal and stick to the plan - take action! 

'Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy'.
Dale Carnegie

Passion

Follow your heart. Do a career DNA test, do what seems to resonate the most. Do a career quiz on the internet, find out what your most prone to be good at. Do something you enjoy. Even if you can only commit to and hour after work, you will gradually make your dreams come true. Do things for their own sake - for yourself, and the money will come. 

Strengths

Work out what your strengths are. As I said do some online quizzes to find out if you don't already know. Try to build them up whilst working on your weaknesses at the same time. Be confident; have faith; keep trying!

Plan

Plan ahead, do things in boxes. So many hours of this so many hours of that, try to do things at the same time everyday. Make a plan and stick to it, don't give up. 

Experience / Resume

Have a good long hard look at your resume and how it could be improved and make a goal to do that. Consider getting an expert to write it for you if you need to.  

Network

Go to meetups and functions - it's not what you know, it's who you know. Going to functions might open doors you may never have know existed. 

Further Training

Maybe you have already got your education sorted, could you go higher? Or you can work on your soft skills with short courses, or do a course related to your hobbies.

Be Responsible

Try to develop habits that improve your capacity to be responsible. Taking care of yourself and others; Cleaning the house; honouring commitments; Having a schedule;  being timely; saving money; paying your bills, abstinence from alcohol and drugs; taking your medicine. 

Raise the Bar

Everyday, in small increments, try to improve yourself. Try to face challenges head on. In the evening, reflect on your day and say what you learnt from it. Then apply this knowledge into your work and life. 

So voila there is my article on the concept of building. To build habit's, relationships and your career. I hope. you can take this away and apply it to your life and improve your prospects beyond measure. It's easy if you do it little by little, - the small leads to the great. (Tao Te Ching)